


Fight Hard

by ardentmuse



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Heavy Angst, Marriage, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 18:18:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17751047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse
Summary: https://ardentmuse.tumblr.com/post/177273893086/are-you-still-taking-b99-requests-if-you-are





	Fight Hard

Everyone in the circle was clearly tense. This happened every month when the Order decided on new mission assignments. In the basement of headquarters, you were all sprawled out on couches and a few pillows on the floor, trying your hardest to relax despite the circumstances.

James sat beside Sirius across the room from you. You were bowed forward, deep in a whispered conversation with Remus, your best friend and for now mission partner. And James often found himself jealous that Remus got to have so much of your attention, especially today.

You were leaving tonight, you and Remus, diving into the dens of werewolves in the country, hoping to convert them to the cause of the Order. Remus had the solidarity of being a werewolf himself, and you were a master of healing magic, allowing you to provide support to those who were suffering.

And James was scared beyond measure. Four years of dating and six months of marriage meant that he had become accustomed to having you by his side, safe in his arms, bowing your head against his as you planned and schemed. He bit at the inside of his lip at the sight of you, swallowing down his fear and sadness.

The meeting went on without a hitch. The Longbottoms would be doing some information gathering among the few remaining pureblood families loyal to the cause. Several Aurors were going out to investigate an attack in South London. And you and Remus would be leaving.

As the meeting wrapped up, several people came over to hug you, to wish you luck, and to promise to keep fighting in your absence. James stood brooding at the other side of the room.

“You’re wasting your last few minutes with her by sulking,” Sirius said, leaning back against the wall beside his friend.

“She’s fine,” James huffed. The bruise on the inside of his cheek had grown painfully large, almost impacting his speech

“She’s not fine.”

James took the moment to take in your form. You were biting your lip as Alastor talked to you. You let out a laugh, but it was not marked with the light air he had come to know from your voice. It was heavy, forced, and it broke his heart.

“She’s scared and she’s nervous and she needs you,” Sirius urged with a pat on James’s shoulder. “She’ll always need you, even if she’s hundreds of miles away.”

Without even looking at Sirius, James was moving of his own accord across the room until he was beside you, standing shoulder to shoulder as you continued your conversation.

He took your hand in his own as you spoke to the last of the crowd. He saw you smile, if only a little, the first all night. You curled your fingers around his own and squeezed so tight he felt his pulse in his palm. He knew then what a fool he had been. You needed each other. You always did. Especially in this.

His hand never left yours as you finished all the parting words. He only broke away when you bent down to grab the small bag that contained all of your belongings you’d need for the foreseeable months. When you turned to meet his eyes, he could tell you were trying your hardest not to cry.

“You are so strong,” he said, taking you by the waist and holding you to him.

“I’m not strong, I’m scared,” you admitted.

James sighed. He felt himself crying before he even knew he had tears to shed. His body started shaking as you swayed together, desperate to make the moment last.

“Y/N, we need to go,” Remus called from the doorway, his bag slung over his shoulder and his eyes heavy.

You tried your best to smile at your husband, but you couldn’t. Half of your lip moved and fell as you began to cry once more.

“Darling,” he whispered, wiping at the tears on your face, “I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt.”

You laughed at that last bit, though it only made you hiccup between your tears. James smiled a solemn smile as he tried to remember the beautiful sound of your voice when you laughed, wanting to burn it into his mind.

“I don’t know how I’ll survive without you,” he admitted.

“We may not survive this,” you whispered, reaching around his neck and pressing your forehead against him.

“You’re right,” James said. “But we have to try. Fight hard, okay, love? Fight to come back to me?”

“I’ve been fighting to be with you since we met, James Potter,” you said, “I’m not about to stop now.”

He smiled at you, genuine and full. You were a force that the world couldn’t stop. No death eater. No dark lord. No war. You’d come back to him, no matter how hard the fight.

Slowly, you slipped out of his arms, you fingers lingering together until the very last moment when you took Remus’s arm and apparated away.

Immediately, as he watched your form disappear, he found himself leaning forward, desperate to grab you even though you were no longer there. In the space where you were, James broke down into overwhelming and uncontrollable tears. His body shook violently with his wails. His throat ached so hard, tight and raw with the tension of it all. And his heart yearned for you in a way he hadn’t known since all those years ago when he watched you from afar, praying someday that you might be his, and hoping beyond hope he could build up the courage to ask you to be just that.

He may never see you again, he knew, but he’d love you just the same, now and forever. Only now he was alone.

Sirius caught James as he collapsed, overwhelmed and breathless. And he cried and cried against his best friend’s chest until he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> https://ardentmuse.tumblr.com/post/177273893086/are-you-still-taking-b99-requests-if-you-are


End file.
